Another Reason I Miss Being a Journalist


Can’t really blame the guy too much…you’d want to have a few drinks before attempting this. Those chest compressions aren’t pretty.

Police: Drunk Pa. man tried to revive dead opossum
March 26, 2010 – 7:48pm

PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. (AP) – Police say they charged a Pennsylvania man with public drunkenness after he was seen trying to resuscitate a long-dead opossum along a highway.

State police Trooper Jamie Levier says several witnesses saw 55-year-old Donald Wolfe, of Brookville, near the animal Thursday along Route 36 in Oliver Township, about 65 miles northeast of Pittsburgh.

The trooper says one person saw Wolfe kneeling before the animal and gesturing as though he were conducting a seance. He says another saw Wolfe attempting to give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Levier says the animal already had been dead a while.

The Associated Press could not locate a home telephone number for Wolfe.

Attention Playwrights

The nice folks at the Bloomington Playwrights Project asked me to post a notice announcing their call for scripts–you’d think they’d have better stuff to do than read gibberish like splattworks–but they were kind and charming and help playwrights…so here’s the info (plus, kudos, there’s no fee, and, if you win, you might get a chance to hang out with Craig Wright and pester him with Six Feet Under questions):

National Playwriting Contest

The Bloomington Playwrights Project is now accepting ten-minute play submissions pertaining to its AwareFest theme, “A Green World.” The BPP literary committee will narrow down the submissions to a list of 5 finalists. From those finalists the Producing Artistic Director will select the top 3 who will be acknowledged in the local newspaper and receive two complimentary tickets to the production (transportation is not provided). The 1st place winner will have their play produced in the festival alongside many prominent playwrights and receive a $100 prize. Currently negotiations are underway for the likely possibility that the winner’s
play will be professionally published as well. The winning playwright will also be invited to participate in the audience talkback which will take place after the first Saturday evening production.

The winning play will be produced alongside such nationally renowned playwrights as:
Craig Wright – Emmy nominee for Six Feet Under, Lost, Dirty Sexy Money, Brothers & Sisters, The Pavilion (ATCA Best New Play nominee)
Jon Marans – Pulitzer-Prize finalist for Old Wicked Songs, The Temperamentals (currently off-Broadway)
Wendy MacLeod – The House of Yes (starring Parker Posey), playwright in residence at Kenyon College
Israel Horovitz – Line (longest running off-off-Broadway play of all time), most produced American playwright in French theatre history, two-time OBIE winner
Michael Healey – Governor General’s Award for The Drawer Boy, Chalmers Award, multiple Dora Awards

Requirements: The play must be no longer than ten pages and have an environmental issue as a central theme. No more than 6 actors may be used. Although dealing with an important and weighty issue, the plays should aim to be entertaining and void of feeling like an educational video. Preference will be given to scripts that bring up valuable questions but do not preach solutions. Please feel free to pick any environmental issue you feel is pertinent. Some suggestions for topics are: Sustainable Living, Alternative/Renewable Energy Sources, Water Conservation, Carbon Footprints, Air Pollution, Recycling, Organizations, Kyoto Protocol, Green Vehicles, Wildlife Risks, Intensive Farming, Environmental Degradation, Nuclear Power, Resource Depletion.

The due date for submissions is May 14, 2010 by 5pm. The winning playwright must be
willing to make revisions and work on a second draft over the summer. Plays must be submitted via e-mail to Josie Gingrich, Literary Manager, at literarymanager@newplays.org by May 14. Please include a brief bio and full contact
information with your submission and mark clearly at the top of the script which environmental issue your play is about. No fee for submission. Maximum of 2 submissions per playwright.

http://www.newplays.org

And…

…because we still can’t live without snark: God bless Joe Biden. Just…just… just because. Take a listen to his eternally fresh command of the English language:

GO JOE! Heh heh. Wanker.

The Deed is Done


For the many who have fought for health care reform so many years, especially for the late Senator Ted Kennedy, and, personally, for my mom, Jean Patterson, who fought all her life for patients’ rights, particularly those of our veterans, and would have been so proud if she could have been here to see this: savor this day.

And for those who oppose the bill, there’s much work to be done for our future. Please step forward for the country where we agree and express yourself openly and with dignity where we do not, but let us work together.

Seeing history made is a moving and humbling experience.

Onward.

Nuns to Bishop’s Four, Check

Here’s an interesting one. In the midst of the poltical strum und drang over health care reform, a group representing Catholic nuns (and, yes, there are other kinds) stepped forward to endorse Obama’s legislation in defiance of the nation’s Catholic bishops, who oppose the legislation saying it would open the door to taxpayers funding abortions. Sayeth the Sisters:

“Despite false claims to the contrary, the Senate bill will not provide taxpayer funding for elective abortions. It will uphold longstanding conscience protections and it will make historic new investments — $250 million — in support of pregnant women,” wrote the nuns, in a letter released by Network, A National Catholic Social Justice Lobby. “This is the REAL pro-life stance, and we as Catholics are all for it.”

Health Bill Gains Ground with Weekend Vote Likely

The endorsement reflected a division within the church. The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops opposes the Senate-passed legislation, contending it would, in fact, permit the use of federal funds for elective abortions.

Ow. Could be a tense dinner at the rectory this evening. “Could you please ask Mother Superior to pass the boiled carrots?” “Mother Superior, Father James would like you to–” “Shut up, pinhead. I heard the old goat.”

Hilarity ensues.

Chasing Tone


Last night was “let’s experiment.” Rearranged some furniture so I could set the amp atop a table–read where it greatly improves the Vox’s tone–and it did seem much more resonant. Also made it easier to get to the controls. Fooled around with a few settings I’d seen Voxheads post on the Net; a couple of them were worth writing down in my guitar notebook, which is filled with arcane notes about gain, level, and tone.

Found just a beautiful combination of reverb, chorus, slight overdrive, light delay, and the “Blackface” amp (emulates a Fender Twin Reverb). Perfect for the Epiphone and the blues, a haunting, shimmering American roadhouse sound that reminds me of Ry Cooder’s “Paris, Texas” soundtrack. Just makes you want to slowly play chords unitl you drift away. You can almost hear the oil pumps clanking in the distance.

Got a little writing done too. Not a bad day in the Art Ghetto.

S

Brain Dump


I guess it’s spring. I’ve been on one of those “sorting, throwing out, wondering what this thing is and why I have it” fire sales. Partly it’s because I want to get back on the play submission routine, which usually consists of setting unrealistic expectations, then getting depressed when I can’t live up to them and/or the rejections roll in. (And, yes, beginning writers: I’ve been at this for years and still get bounced all the time. There’s no escape.)

Things have been on this sort of mad tilt-o-whirl ever since the beginning of the year, so this is just one of those, sweep it up and get it over with posts. “Everything’s a dollar/In this box.”

Fertile Ground…Portland’s big new works theatre festival…came in like some kind of overwhelming force, flattening everything in front of it. At the same time, I was helping Playwrights West get up and rolling, which meant not only having a play read, but sending out press on the event, hurriedly getting a Web site up and rolling, producing programs, posters, photographs, etc. Concurrently, “The Rewrite Man” had a reading at Pulp Diction, so I found myself with two plays/events going up in the same week. It sounds exciting–and I guess it was–but it was also thoroughly exhausting. The Playwrights West gig went extremely well: we sold out, raised our profile nicely in the Portland theatre community, and had a solid, professional production that people seemed to enjoy. Now the heavy lifting begins: fundraising, business matters, and other such challenging fare. Stay tuned.

“The Rewrite Man”…well, it was pretty decently attended, given that it was 10:30 on a Tuesday night. The Pulp Diction people were terrific, and the cast and crew did a spirited production of the play. As to the work itself, ironically enough, it needs a rewrite, and I found myself getting kind of unwound by it. Nothing to do with the production: it’s just that a lot of work went into plotting and figuring out angles–the play is almost entirely a series of bank shots that attempt to top each other. Somewhere in there, I kind of feel like I lost the heart: I began to feel like I was watching some kind of game instead of a play. Plus there was a bunch of stuff that needs to be cut, simply places where I repeated myself and where the gambits didn’t live up to what I was shooting for. I love bending the audience’s collective mind, but I think my talent for that lies more in surrealism. Anyway, vaguely unsatisfied by the whole thing, and I think “The Rewrite Man” goes into a drawer for awhile. Thinking about it reminds me of a still lake under overcast skies.

Rushed to finished a rewrite of “Farmhouse,” which is another mindbender that I’ve found altogether more satisfying. Right now is kind of one of those waiting periods, where you know there’s stuff out there being considered, and you know theatres are soon announcing their seasons, and that means you will, mostly likely, be disappointed. It’s the way the game goes. Sometimes you’re surprised, which is more or less why we keep at this stuff.

Everybody I know is hellishly busy, and it’s hard to get together with friends. The whole politics/economy/employment/staying alive/keeping projects in the air scene seems to be draining folks. I’ve found myself missing friends of late and trying not to take their silence personal. (And, if it is personal, honestly, there’s not much I can do about it.) The zeitgeist seems to be churning, a little chaotic, with flashes of hope mixed in with the change blenderizer. I think we’re all ready for winter to end.

The Day Job: busy. Very.

The guitar continues to be huge fun, partly because it doesn’t mean anything. When you’ve been a professional artist for most of your adult life, it’s really, really nice to have an art that you can just plain suck at and have a kick with. Last night, I spent the evening cranking the distortion and volume to insane levels and absurdly working over the Strat’s tremelo arm and wah-wah pedal into psychdelic blather. Awful, awful, awful. And just fun as hell. Attempting to resist the pulls of effects pedals: at this point, I can pretty much make any guitar sound I can imagine, and a lot I don’t want to imagine, but they still have this…weird…hypnotic…power. What would happen if I bought this and plugged it into…this?

And, if I do decide to write about guitar, I don’t feel like it’ll take away from the forget-the-world freedom it brings: playing guitar has become a fine kind of meditation.

I have to finish some monologues I promised for a friend, and then I have to get the ball rolling for a workshop production of a play and the rewrite that’ll require. Other than that and researching the book, I’m kind of blissfully free from writing at the moment. Having written three full-length plays in two years, I feel like I’m due a breather. And then some other stupid idea will come along, and off we go.

So that’s what I’ve been doing. Well. That’s wasn’t too bad. Time to be domestic, throw the laundry in, and maybe go futz around in the garden, because the plants are waiting for me. The fruit trees are blooming. The daphne is in full flower and spreading its incredible scent across the patio, and new leaves are unfurling among the oriental poppies, sedums, and so many more. I attempted to sit down with a gardening magazine the other day, but it’s still too early. But, soon enough, Portland Nursery will be calling my name, and I’ll find the car driving itself there. And there won’t a thing I can do to stop it.

And just because I can, a shout out to my friends: I love you crazy bastards. Here’s to better days.

Midnight Lightning

In doing research for my super secret special guitar writing project, which I may or may not get around to talking about at some point (depending how it goes), I’ve been reading Crosstown Traffic, Charles Shaar Murray’s rather good book on Jimi Hendrix. Writing about guitar without spending time with Jimi makes as much sense as writing about the blues without listening to Robert Johnson.

And, of course, it’s impossible to even think about Hendrix without a certain overhanging grief, tortured by what-might-have-beens. It’s like imagining what would have happened if Dylan really had died in his post-Blonde on Blonde motorcycle accident (to some people, he did). Sure, we’d have been spared Down in the Groove or Empire Burlesque, but we’d also never have had Blood on the Tracks, The Basement Tapes, his fantastic resurgence since Time Out of Mind, or, for that matter, John Wesley Hardin and, consequently, Jimi, All Along the Watchtower.

On the other hand, we were spared watching hard living wreck Hendrix or seeing him end up playing Purple Haze at state fairs, but, assuming he’d kept it together, one can’t wonder where Hendrix would have taken us with today’s technology. Jimi Hendrix recording with a Parker Dragonfly, a Mesa Boogie Mark V, Pro Tools, and a still inquisitive mind.

Look far enough west, and you come up ’round the east again.

“Maybe creativity will become fashionable again.”
–Adrian Belew–