Daily Archives: August 11, 2011

Bombardment, Episode 13: Peace, How We’ve Longed for You

Splattworks continues its presentation of Bombardment, a two-act drama by Steve Patterson. The author will attempt to post an installment each day, but, if events intercede, installments may occur a day or so apart. So please be patient.

[EPISODE 13]

ACT II

SCENE I

PLACID and CARMELITA sit in the armchairs. CARMELITA’s shopping cart is overturned, her stuff spread all over the stage–balloons, trinkets, gobs of colorful, wadded paper: a toy chest emptied for Mardi Gras. PLACID and CARMELITA have exchanged clothes with ARETHA and CORNO. PLACID reads the newspaper. CARMELITA curls up in her armchair. She has PLACID’s bag of surprises beside her. No matter what she does, PLACID does not react. CARMELITA takes out a pair of pruning shears, plays that they are shark jaws.

CARMELITA: (Singing “Mack the Knife”) Oh the shark has pretty teeth, dear/And he keeps them pearly white. . .. (Rummages, rummages. Comes up with a banana. Swims it past her. Singing “Sub-Mission” by the Sex Pistols) I’m on a submarine mission for you, bay-bee. . .. (CARMELITA makes bubble sounds as the banana “submerges.” Puts it back. Takes out a hacksaw. Puts it to her throat.) No. . .please. I’ll tell you where the treasure is! I will! Just don’t. . .don’t. . . arrrghghghghghh. (Her head falls forward. Lets it hang.) Arrrghghgh? (CARMELITA puts the saw away. Takes out an awl, and pretends to tie her arm off and shoot up, but can’t stomach it.) Awful. (CARMELITA returns the awl to the bag. Very slowly pulls out the long carving knife.) Oh, it is a long way to Tipperary. Just an extremely long way. No matter how you try to get there. Whether walking or flying or swimming like a fish. It’s an extremely long, difficult way to go. Wherever the hell Tipperary is. Know where Tipperary is, Placid? Well, I’ll tell you. Tipperary is nowhere. Maybe it was somewhere once, but it’s nowhere now. It’s a song. It’s in songland, and not even a song people know anymore. It’s in the Lower Slobbovia of songland. Peace. How we’ve longed for you. Listening, Placid? (She pricks her finger with the knife.) Ow! Shit. (She gets up, slips into a pair of pumps with stiletto heels. Picks up the knife.) I’m stalking. I’m stalking the beast. Oh, it’s a fierce beast. Got long, jagged teeth. Scaly skin. And, and…it’s invisible! It can eat you, and you’ll never see it. Even when the teeth tear into your flesh. Oh, you see the holes ripping, the blood. You’ll feel it. Definitely. But you’ll never see it, even after you’ve been eaten. Even when you’re deep in its guts. You’ll just dissolve. Become part of it. Then you’ll be invisible too.

[To be continued]


Bombardment, Episode 12: Worst Hangover of Your Life

Splattworks continues its presentation of Bombardment, a two-act drama by Steve Patterson. The author will attempt to post an installment each day, but, if events intercede, installments may occur a day or so apart. So please be patient.

[EPISODE 12]

ARETHA: You struck me!
CARMELITA grabs her hair and twists.

CARMELITA: Kneel! You want to stop the planes?
ARETHA: Yes!

CARMELITA: You really want to stop the planes? Or just want to save your ass?
ARETHA: You’re hurting me!

CARMELITA drops to her knees in front of ARETHA. She grabs both sides of her head.

CARMELITA: Shut up.
ARETHA: I can’t with–
CARMELITA: Shut or die.

ARETHA gasps.

CARMELITA: Empty your head.
ARETHA: How?
CARMELITA: It’s been empty all your life. The only thing in there has been shoved inside, and you don’t need it.

CARMELITA clamps her hand over ARETHA’s mouth. She moves her face close. During her monologue, the noise of the planes slowly fades as bits of paper, glitter, and rose petals descend, or lights simulate a similar effect.

CARMELITA: Empty it. Close it down. Let the power ebb, the wheels slow. Gears grind. Stop. Ringing fades. Heat goes from metal. Ice blooms on factory windows. Snow falls. White flakes. Huge flakes. Circle in the wind. Flakes upon your face, eyes. Watch flakes descend. Are they falling? Maybe you’re rising. Blown here, blown there. Blown across the sky. You’re falling and falling, one of millions, and you can’t touch down.

ARETHA grows calm. CARMELITA takes her hand from ARETHA’s mouth. The lights have become more naturalistic. All is silent.

ARETHA: Where are we?
CARMELITA: The real world.

CORNO moans, doubles over, and coughs. ARETHA goes to him. He’s alive, but cannot speak. ARETHA helps him up, begins walking him around. PLACID stirs, groans, pulls himself up on all fours. CARMELITA helps him into an armchair.

CARMELITA: How you feel?
PLACID: Worst hangover of my life.

ARETHA and CORNO face one another. They caress one another, movements mirrored. They embrace. PLACID puts his hand on CARMELITA’s. She picks up her apron and slips it around ARETHA. Puts PLACID’s hat on CORNO. No response from ARETHA or CORNO. CARMELITA draws a pistol from her coat pocket. She shoots ARETHA and CORNO, killing them. PLACID crosses to CORNO. He takes a roll of bills from CORNO’s pocket and begins counting them as CARMELITA watches. The sound of planes returns, rising and cresting. Lights/sound abruptly.

End of Act I.

[To be continued]